QUARTERBACK FOR SALE

If you give a rat's behind about the NFL offseason, you've probably noticed that everyone's favorite Sex Boat Captain, Daunte Culpepper, has been part of an ongoing soap opera thus far. Said soap opera also stars the Minnesota Vikings front office, including owner Zygi Wilf, and carries a varying plot-line based on the Quarterback being on the trading block, off the trading block, receiving his soon-due roster bonus, to finally demanding for a trade or release. The main catalyst for all the controversy has been e-mails to the media, who seem to be the only people in Minnesota who still love Culpepper.



Had Mr. Culpepper not suffered a major injury or been involved in the lewd acts of that Lake Minnetonka boat cruise last year, he probably would've been gone by now. But it turns out, while there has been interest for the QB, the Vikes haven't exactly been offered the type of value that they're expecting. But never fear Vikings fans, for one of your sharp-thinking faithful has found the solution: send Culpepper off to the highest bidder...on eBay!

The bidding starts at $1 million and the questions are already flying in like the strippers were last October. Damaged? Only slightly. Young? Definitely. Talented? That's debatable.

If only it were this easy (and fun!) in real life. In reality, it turns out the Vikings have found some offers and are getting ready to pull the trigger.

Speaking of trades, Green Bay bonehead receiver Javon Walker is seeking one for himself now as well. More on this crap later.